Bloodlust
by xTwilightObssesedx
Summary: New Moon, Bella's 18th birthday party but in Jasper's POV *ONE-SHOT*


I wrapped my arms vastly around Alice s small waist. Her tawny eyes lit up with excitement that made me smile. Her moods jumbled around me and I couldn t make much of them except felicity.

Today was Bella s birthday, 18th birthday. As much as Bella truly didn t want to be reminded by the fact she was still human and aging Edward and Alice couldn t resist having a party and giving presents.

My smiled slowly vanished and my body tensed as the resistless smell filled the atmosphere. Alice glanced at me once and whispered, It s okay Jasper. You won t hurt her. or at least I thought she had. Lately around Bella I ve been repeating those words Alice spoke to me the first time I met Bella consistently. My chants continuously flowed throughout my mind as Bella came into view.

Happy Birthday, Bella! Alice shrieked her voice chiming like angelic bells.

I watched as Bella s eyes traced the room.. I studied her emotions carefully. She was rather embarrassed, probably from being the center of attention. I suppressed a chuckle and Alice offered a smile of hope, I nodded in return.

After Emmet s playful joke and Edward s soft apologetic words to Bella as to though why we held the party, it was time for presents to be opened.

Alice quickly released me and I felt as though some of my restrain had gone. Her hand slipping through my vast hold. Without Alice near me, comforting me I was nothing.

I could feel eyes on me and it struck worry throughout me. I couldn t blame them I was nearly as bad as a newborn and just as dangerous.

Time to open the presents! Alice declared.

I chuckled as Bella s face soured but, Alice didn t mind her.

Alice, I know I told you I didn t want anything Bella started interrupted by Alice, But I didn t listen. her words rather sung then spoken.

Placing the silver box in Bella s hand, I smiled as she opened the box to find it empty.

Um...thanks.

I didn t hold back the laughter. It felt good to laugh, it kept my mind off the infectious burned that licked my throat dry. It was as though all my hunting had been a waste.

It s a stereo for your truck. I explained tired of seeing Bella bewildered, Emmet s installing it right now so that you can t return it. I joked, but it was true. Bella would return it if she could.

Thanks Jasper, Rosalie. She grinned and I smiled inferiorly. Thanks Emmet! She called loudly. Much more than necessary for vampire ears.

As Bella began to pull on the silver ribbon to open Edward s gift it happened. Her finger sliced along the paper and a delicate drop of blood oozed.

Picturing the blood trickling along my throat. The sweet intensity of it. I longed for the blood and I would have her blood. Pouncing towards Bella I was quickly taken back and crashed into the piano. I still didn t pay attention to anything but her lustful blood. I fought against Edward s hold. Snarling in annoyance, just one lick was all I craved I needed to taste. My eyes focused on the prize I would receive if I d escaped fighting harder I watch more blood ease down her arm. I was grabbed again, this hold on me was much more stronger but, with just a lick of blood I would be able to escape it. I watched the shards of glass on the floor and Bella s weary eyes. As I was pulled out of the room the bloodlust was gone. I no longer smelt it but, deep down I would always want it.

What have I done? I thought picturing the havoc scene I d caused.

I had to fix it, apologize but, Edward wouldn t let me near her I d had no right to see her again.

I would learn to control myself just as my family. I would change.

After hunting numerously I supposed I was safe to be in the house now. Then again, I wasn t the safest person anymore, never was.

I sulked with tearless sobs. The infinite fact that if I d actually have gotten her blood still ran throughout my mind. Alice comforted me but, her words meant nothing. What I did couldn t be fixed, couldn t be changed.

It s okay Jasper. It s not your fault.

Alice, who s fault is it then? I growled not to Alice, but rather towards myself.

She sighed, I m going to check on Bella. She said getting up from the bed.

Okay. I whispered, Tell her... I couldn t find words to explain my regret.

Tell her I m sorry...

New words were chanted in my head. Rather a question.

What have I done? 


End file.
